Trans women can be allies to Lesbians and not Pretendbians! Trans women allies:
1. Recognize that sex matters.
2. Respect that females will want to organize as females, and will not derail.
3. Support female-only spaces.
4. Support issues that impact females uniquely (e.g., reproductive choice) without derailing (a la Julia Serano).
5. Don’t personalize feminist objections to gender identity theory.
6. Speak out against violent threats made by trans activists against females.
7. Recognize that sometimes we will disagree – and that’s ok.
8. Do not view female sexuality as a political obligation (e.g., lesbians need to “overcome” their aversion to penis to “affirm trans women’s realness”).
Hi! I’m a transgirl, 21, and I’m reading your blog trying to understand how to not impede on FAAB (female-assigned-at-birth) rights while fighting for rights of my own. Personally, I identify as pansexual and generally prefer male-identified partners, but I grasp your perspective and can understand a lot of your concerns. I don’t claim to be on the same level as other women – and I don’t claim to identify that way, either. Most other girls grew up with a much fuller understanding of patriarchy and subjugation while that is admittedly rather new to me, so the last thing I want to do is be oblivious to my privilege, even that which I don’t have anymore. I do have a couple comments on this post though:
-On number 3, why do you have to use the term “female-only spaces”? That implies that I’m doomed not to be considered female because I’m trans. Instead of using an erasing term like “female,” use “FAAB-only spaces”. That way you’re being clearer about the space’s inclusion and exclusion policies in a way that will keep those that need them feeling safer. I can imagine such language would make a lot of other transgirls uncomfortable, but I do know for some it’s important to be in the strict company of those they don’t consider dangerous. I don’t LIKE being considered dangerous, but a truly safe space is one which fits everyone’s needs and individual comfort, even if that means separate spaces when required. The language here is important because female is more than just a term to describe bodies and sex, it’s used as a legal cover-all that transwomen have to adhere to in order to work their way through the system without endangering themselves. I am forced by this system to mark “female” on a number of important forms and documents – including in the workplace – in order to be treated properly by that system. Excluding transwomen from the definition of “female” in the modern world is a divisive policy that makes it harder for transwomen to find safety.
-On number 6, threats of violence are never acceptable against those who are unified in the struggle against subjugation.
-On number 2, same comment as on number 3. “Female” should not be a stand in term for “genetic woman”. Use terms that refer to chromosomes, birth assignment, or just straight up genitals. I’d be a lot more comfortable if someone at an event told me a space was for “FAAB identified people only” or, hey, even “women with vaginas only”. It’d be a lot less erasing then if someone said “Only females are allowed here.” It’d also be a lot less dangerous for me, too.
-On number 1, yeah, sex matters, but don’t call me “male” because I’ve got a dick. Male assigned at birth? Sure, that’s fine, call it that. People who have penises are, a good 9.9 times out of 10, MAAB, but not all people who have penises are male. Assignment is important and should be respected.
-On number 4, I agree, and that’s important. Transwomen shouldn’t try to commandeer women’s rights issues because, honestly, it’s not our fight. We can support and offer our thoughts as women to the debate but we shouldn’t try to be authoritative voices – or even voices – on issues surrounding reproduction and FAAB bodily rights.
Some addendum – it is okay to not identify as FAAB if you identify as female. Either you’re a transwoman and can’t identify that way or, as I’ve seen on some blogs, you find that term erasing and fight back against it for that reason. You don’t have to accept it as a personal identity, but do acknowledge that those that aren’t FAAB but do identify as female deserve the same recognition as your personal female identity.
Trans women aren’t female.
Also, “trans girl”? Seriously? No.
“I am forced by this system to mark “female” on a number of important forms and documents – including in the workplace – in order to be treated properly by that system.”
No you aren’t. If you are serious about fighting for your rights, consider fighting for your rights to be treated properly by the system in spite of you marking “male” on all documents and forms. In an ideal world there would not be transgenderism, you would be accepted for what you are, without ever having to hate yourself and spend your fortunes on becoming something you aren’t. Transgenderism is just like a big closet, and transgender industry is another name for reparative therapy.
Please stop calling yourself a woman, trans- or otherwise.
No, you have never been “forced by this system”; real females are forced by this system from the moment of birth, however, into a life of oppression, violence and rape. You have chosen by your own volition to get yourself into this. It makes me sick whenever individuals such as you speaks of being discriminated against or oppressed. You have got no clue, young man.
Don’t worry hon, these women don’t speak for all feminists.
And you don’t speak for women.
Transwomen are the ones who started stonewall and the gay civilrights movement you want something that is biased and your civil rights gay civil rights were born from the trans community read your history. What I dont understand is absolute blindness to our blight and you continue to do thing that can kill us. I understand you seem to have some inept anger towards us why? You dont have to subsribe to our way of thinking but to say we anything less then how we identify is wrong. If you look at any statistics we are under physical attack, rape, and murder at a higher rate than any women. To spout hate in any form is unbecoming of you and feminists, feminst does not mean to hate all that is male or your idea of it but tostrive for equality in everything; life liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I am a veteran and have fought for all not those I like or do not. You see ttrans people as the way the straight community has view the lesbian and gay community for years. You would also keep our civil rights to where womens civil rights were pre-1900s. I dont ask why you are disliked in many aspects of the LGBT world ask why not. YOu come of as a seperatisit and a regular playground bully.
Bugbrennan if it is your end goal to have equality, and to men out of womans spaces as you put it you should understand the extreme loss we trans people go through to be authentic. MALE PRIVELEDGE is the first thing to disappear and the there is acceptance from both the straight and gay/lesbian communities who do not understand how a person could want to change genders but not their orientation. We are excluded at every turn and it is your speech that hurts us to our very soul. I ask you to try to do two things attend a transgender (not a CD) support group and listen do not talk, two attend a Transgender Day of Remembrance. When you do these things against an entire community it is looked at with contempt.
You’re an idiot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1DDgNCLD84
“Transwomen are the ones who started stonewall and the gay civilrights movement…”
This is a bullcrap, sir. Mr. “Sylvia” Rivera was a gayman, a male prostitute, and he fought as a gayman. The word “transgender” did not even exist at the time of 1969.
For the history of “transgenderism”: http://deartranny.tumblr.com/post/35064830818/historical-roots-of-tranny-ism-and-its-kleptomaniacal
Did I insult you I? If so I wasnt trying to you said you wished for debate, but a monty python response or an insult is childish I thought I was dealing with intelligence with a misguided idea of what EQUALITY is.
You’re still an idiot, sir.
Diana, you are a man. That’s cool. Be well.
http://www.facebook.com/dianalpatton
ok insults you are still a bully and a child. I see no intellectual debate here ok this is a your right im wrong type of deal ever think of joining NOM or defending DOMA you would be good at it!
You’re an asshole man mansplaining on my blog. Go start your own blog and mansplain away.
omg bugbrennan you are completely insane, bigoted and a general menace to society. One day your karma will catch up to you and you will be forced to pay penance for your hate mongering. The trans movement is the civil rights struggle of our time. Get used to it. You hate blogs, wont stop us, slow us down, make us rethink or change us. All you are achieving is encouraging good people to see through your bigotry and creating more allies for us. For that we thankyou. You actually perform a civil duty for trans people by continuing to be your hateful self. On behalf of the global trans community we thankyou for all your time and effort. Good day. (y)
Hi Indi, How was your dick-inside-out surgery? Healing well?
hey Bugreman your bigotry and ignorance suit you well it matches your picture to a “T” and as mentioned you are a class A bully
have a nice
Day
What is it about thinking you’re a woman that makes you unable to spell my name. Go on, it’s not womanly to misspell names, I have faith in you!!
I am sitting here reading over your blog and find myself shocked by your ignorance and hate. What is your real issue with trans woman? Why don’t you do something that is actually proactive for feminism? You complain about oppression from a patriarchal system and then go around oppressing others. Judging by your stats your sitting in lowly corners of the internet. If your going to insist that being trans is impossible why don’t you present your evidence? All I see on this blog is pseudoscience and opinions. I guess you can’t actually back up your claims.
I am also noticing it be a theme on these transphobic blogs that you only pick on teenagers and people with low followings. In other words your a coward.
No, sir, I am not. Feel free to call me to discuss. 410-336-9857. And thanks for the tip that I should do something “proactive for feminism,” does that mean “suck my trans penis”? How about this, here is something “proactive for feminism” – http://nametheproblem.com/2013/02/04/dean-williams/
You don’t understand how systemic oppression works, do you sir?
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Did you consider that maybe there’s room to disagree with these concepts in the first place, and that you shouldn’t be ordering around a group which are objectively more oppressed than women in the first place? I understand there needs to be a conversation and some give and take here, but most of this is rooted in some rather horrendous attitudes towards trans people and you’re basically just asking us to accept we should be “Othered”. You can’t just claim you don’t hate us, you have to show some real respect. I don’t agree with the concept of “female only spaces”. I don’t agree with derailing issues that apply to cisgendered women, but that should be a given.
In all honesty, in a better world I don’t think we should even need trans inclusive female only spaces, let alone exclusive ones.
I wrote a couple of blogs about how people abuse the concept of boundaries within the LGBT community.
REDACTED
Transwomen are excluded from far more places than regular women.
Also, Cathy Brennan is an evil human being. I don’t say that because I “hate women”, I say that because I hate Cathy Brennan. What ever trauma made her that way, there’s a limit to how much sympathy you can have towards someone who only causes traumas for others.
ok
1. female space or space for female means just that for females. if you have to clairify you are female. chances are you are not. quit trying to coopt what is not yours by birth.
2. xx equals female xy equals male. if you see yourself any differently feel free to identify as other. everyone has the right to see themselves as they wish. They do not have the right to force their self appointed view on someone else.
3. females do not have penis’s. If you have one you are a man who is in transition not a female. get over the idea that simply because you say so you have the right to spaces designated for women only. fake boobs and wigs do not make a female. make up and heels do not make a female. hormones do not make a woman. chromosomes make a woman. The trappings are simply social constructs placed upon us by society.
4. as a lesbian I love women. I do not want to sleep with men or have sex with men. If you have a penis I do not want to sleep with you because you are a man so stop whining when you can not get a lesbian to sleep with you because guess what penis means man.
5. you had your say now I have had mine…… I would be your friend. I would even be supportive of your body dysmorphia and call you by whatever names you desire. That is where my alleigence would end because you would not be welcome into my lesbian space because to me lesbian space is for lesbians only. sorry if this bothers you.
Well said gabrielglens with compassion and dignity
Ugh… Your use of language is giving me a headache. I’m a trans woman that bought into the feminist idea of “female spaces.” I still kind of do! But i’m at a turning point as a feminist trans woman that does not want to have srs because i’ve learned to see my assigned “male penis” as a “woman penis” not only that but it’s apart of my body and i don’t have dysphoria about it anymore.. A penis does not = man for me. My penis has been assigned “male” which is different! And my trans woman penis functions very differently from a cis man’s penis, esp. considering my hormones. The trans woman penis needs a second look.
I think we can trouble the logic of how we see gender when we discuss trans identities/experiences with assigned sex and how there’s this radical idea that being assigned a male does not mean i’m a man. If we want to play along with the system and the language it uses, we could say i’m a male woman. The word “man” is a social construct. The word “male” is assuming biology. I consider my sexuality queer.. but am mostly attracted to men. I never identified as gay though, and still don’t.. Queer has worked for me because i have this perception of sexual fluidity for myself now. Now, communication is constitutive so i understand that you will have a different relation to these words.. I’m really interested in this dialogue because i want to be a good feminist, but i am also a trans woman that’s a feminist and i’ve got trans feminist values. I think gender is this growing and changing idea. I don’t see myself as a woman. I see myself as a “trans” woman. My gender has been “oppressed” until i was able to understand there were options for me. And now my oppression is different. But! I do stand with my trans sisters who identify as lesbians. I don’t think biology should hold so much significance to identities that aren’t biological. The word “lesbian” is an idea just like the word “gay” “queer” “transgender.” What have you! These ideas don’t have biologies. I’m not saying it’s wrong we attribute them to biology, but i think it needs a second look of whose welcome to use these identities. I may identify in some ways, separate from queer, as a heterosexual trans woman. That doesn’t mean i want to engage in sex with straight men nor believe I have the chance, but i want to be respected as a woman by them because that’s how i see myself, and as a trans activist i fight to to help others understand that i’m a trans woman. I want to be treated like anyother cis woman, but that doesn’t mean i want you to think i have a vagina. It changes the way I have been able to perceive the penis. Like believe this or not, i’ve had a penis my whole life, but i’ve also been a hardcore misandrist and have been dealing with that. This wasn’t self-hate. I hated “men” I hated “masculinity” I didn’t hate the “penis” it was the “man.” i dont know.. It’s even like, who i was perceiving as a man. Right? Like, will there be genital inspections as female born female spaces? Because the whole women born women is offensive. I am a woman, and was born one. But I was assigned male. It’s the language use that was giving me a headache. Anyway! i know this is complicated and doesn’t maybe make sense.. But that’s because i’m trying to dialogue and in this dialogue really change your perception. And perceptions are for the most part set in stone unless your willing to change it. Trans women lesbians should be able to be accepted in cis woman lesbian groups. If not, i am realizing that it is transphobic. The idea of female born female spaces, anyway. And it being transphobic is not a bad thing necessarily.. It’s problematic, but not necessarily bad. Anyway, that’s all i have to say for right now… torn1990.tumblr.com
Your dick is not an identity, sir. You’re a guy.
I don’t know, Cathy, you seem like a Dick to me.
I am sure I do, most abusive men use slurs against women, especially when said women don’t bow down to their bullshit, sir.
I was at an award ceremony when i read this response on my cell phone. It really took me back to pretty ugly times where i didn’t know transition was possible because i didn’t know what was wrong with me and why people were perceiving my body the way they were. I thought suicide sounded awesome. It took a little effort to pull myself out of your transphobic remark, transphobe. Trans people are discriminated against, ignored, are murdered committing suicide. what can you do to help?
Speak out against manipulative rapey pricks. That helps the people I want to help.
Agreed
Congrats Aaron on your male privilege and deciding that your male sex organ is infact “womanly.”
At the very least claiming a transwoman has “male privilege” is seriously oversimplifying it. Transwomen are less privileged overall than actual natal women. You are delusional if you think otherwise.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
There is no bigger example of male privilege than the fact that a man can claim to be a woman and have people bend to his will.
i remember when i used to start dialogues with and about other trans women like myself and male privilege.. I still focus on male privilege, but i don’t use it in a way that attacks people in the LGBT community. This is just ridiculous. I realized I was doing more harm then good, and it’s not the activist work I wanted to focus on.
Good luck with your transphobia. in the mean time, i’m going to try and be an activist that works to build community, love, and acceptance and work to help spread awareness about issues that effect the LGBTQ community. And through that, i will understand that privilege is relative.
You are a creepy guy. Don’t comment here anymore.
You’re a much bigger creep, Cathy.
No, I have seen your photo, sir.
Keep exposing
That’s a gay man who refuses to identify as a gay man , and puts on a little make up and keeps his penis because I suspect he prefers the butch straight men and wants to conquer them so by making himself a bit lady like he feels he may achieve this , that’s the vibe I’m getting ! How the hell do they get so lost ? Yikes
Redacted comment from a man pleasing Woman.
why is your blog so damn good.
I thought I was just a shitty trans person for accepting that lezzies wouldn’t like my dick and that I knew I would never be able to change the first 17 years of my life and those would always remain as me being a guy. It kinda sucks because apparently being this rational in the trans community gets you labeled as a faker. I am so glad that there is someone who isn’t a complete blithering asshole or a everyone must be perfectly accepted for who they are by everyone else idiot.
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